When Sexy Texting Leads to Divorce

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I earlier told the story of a Loveawake dating site member who found a pre-paid GoPhone in his wife’s lingerie drawer. Turns out his hot wife was having a discreet affair. The secret phone had sexy text messages between his wife and her lesbian lover.

Dad’s House readers chimed in with advice – confiscate the phone, freeze financial assets, call an attorney, get the hell out of the marriage, pronto!

Recently, I was asked to tell the rest of the story. Here’s what happened.

Joe (not his real name) said his wife was away the night he found the sexy texting phone. He and his wife’s relationship was already ice cold, and they were mulling a divorce. Joe called his attorney first thing in the morning.

On attorney’s advice, Joe took the pre-paid cell phone and made note of the sexy text message phone number. (He already recognized it as belonging to a friend of a relation.) The attorney locked the phone in a safe in his office, and instructed Joe not to say a word about it.

Joe’s wife never let on that the phone was gone.

She must have figured she lost it at the gym, or someplace else, because two weeks later – while she was in the shower – Joe heard a cell phone chime in her athletic bag. He peeked, and found another pre-paid GoPhone full of more sexy text messages.

Joe took this phone, but his attorney said he didn’t need the evidence, so Joe put it back – in a different place. This time his wife noticed her phone was gone. She turned the house upside down looking for it. (She never admitted to what she was looking for). Joe said she was totally stressed until she found the prepaid phone two days later.

Meanwhile, the wife was pushing for full child and alimony support from Joe, and full custody of the kids. Joe’s attorney said with the sexy texting evidence, there was no way she’d get any of that. The plan was to confront her in court with the phone and sexy texts, in front of a judge.

The cheating wife tried to push things into mediation. Joe and his attorney wanted none of that. The attorney wrote a letter detailing all of the sexy texting evidence, and presented it to the wife’s attorney.

That was all the cheating wife needed to see. She dropped all her divorce demands, on the condition she would get joint custody of the kids.

Several weeks later, she moved into her own place. She and Joe now share half-time custody of their kids. Joe pays no alimony. His wife is still with her lesbian lover.

Joe said he wanted to thank Loveawake blog and its readers for the advice and support. He said he pushed to have primary custody for himself because of blog posts he read here. Namely, he didn’t want to suffer having the schools and doctors send important information to his wife, and not to him.

His biggest take home message from Loveawake member was to not confront his wife alone. Had he done that, he feels she would have belittled him and cajoled him and co-dependently guilted him into something to her favor. He’s glad he was patient and allowed his attorney to do the confronting part.

Lesson to all you sexy texters out there: even pre-paid Go Phones aren’t safe, especially if you’re trying to cheat on a spouse and you’re dumb enough to bring the phone into the house.

Unless, of course, you subconsicously want to get caught.

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